Goodbye 2012

Another year comes to an end. But this was not just another year in my life. 2012 was probably the most important year of my life. I've lived some the best moments and some of the worst moments of my life this year.

From a student to a graduate, from a coder to a software engineer, from Pilani to Bangalore, from senior (in BITS) to junior (in Industry), from legacy (phone) to smart (phone), from HP to SAP to Oracle, from zero account balance to a quite decent account balance...I've experienced a lot in this year. Though I like to believe everything happens for good, I'm still trying to overcome the drastic change my life has seen in this year.

I don't want to concentrate on what has happened in the world in 2012 because I'm sure you will find a lot of articles on it. Be it technology, politics, terrorism, crime, education, innovation, science, astronomy, pharmacy or anything else, just bing it and you'll find something relevant of your interest.

I want to tell you what all things I started/learned this year so that maybe you could take something from it for 2013.

Though there were some good and some bad moments, I just want to share the good times because it is easier for everyone if one forgets the worse times and remembers only the good ones.
Someone has truly said: "Everyone faces good and bad times in life but your future will depend a lot on what you choose to remember."

With this I'll start off my list:

1. I started recording music this year at my home. I have recorded about 14 tracks till now and uploaded them on soundcloud. This is one of the things I'm most proud of. I have learnt a lot because of this. I never thought that recording and playing live would be such different art. Thanks to all the people who appreciated my effort. And yes none of this would have been possible without my very good friend +Vaibhavi Rangarajan.

2. I started earning. It is probably one of the happiest moments of your life when you get your first paycheck. And it was because of the job that I was able to buy equipment for recording. No matter what you want to do, you'll always need money to get to it.

3. I started solving problems on codechef i.e. competitive programming. Though it is a little late for me but "better late than never". And I believe that it has seriously helped me to improve my programming skills and has played an important part in me landing up in Oracle.

4. I started reading books. Though in the whole year I would have read only 4-5 books but it is a big deal for me. Books are the ultimate source of knowledge. I really respect all those people who read books whether it be fiction, non fiction, biography, magazine or anything else. Reading is a good habit and everyone should try to develop it.

5. Learned C# and Java. It was really good to finally move from C to some other language. It definitely helps you in programming if you know more than one language.

6. Started reading a few technology related stuff mainly related to Microsoft. But in the end it leads you to read a lot of other stuff as well.

7. Started a few courses on Coursera but unfortunately couldn't complete it. But whatever part I completed, it was very informative and I hope to do at least one course next year.

8. I cooked for the first time this year. And from what I felt, I would say cooking can be great fun and it is an art in itself.

9. Uploaded by first guitar solo on youtube. Again a big step for me. But I'm glad that people enjoyed the video and appreciated my effort. You can check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJ8jYxA-09E

That's it I guess. Though there is nothing special in what I've done but I believe that one should feel proud in achieving success in even the smallest of things.

For 2013, I don't have anything specific in mind. I just hope to learn a lot in all areas of life and stay happy, healthy and wealthy.

Mind Games!

Don't take it literally.
Everything has a hidden meaning. Right?

For example: An "all the best" smile from a fellow mate who is competing with you for a job opportunity. In his mind he must be thinking about the 100 ways he would want you to screw up your interview.
#ItsTheTruth

Well I hope you will be able to think of several such instances now.

Mind is the most difficult thing to have control over. I had heard it a million of times before in my life but I have really experienced this in the past year. And yes, it is indeed the most restless and fickle part of one's self.

For example: Sometimes we feel happy on getting a seat in a bus during the rush hours but we do not feel happy even after getting a full time job at a MNC.
Sometimes our body wants us to sleep but the mind does not let it. It plays games with us, doesn't it?
At times we are happy without no reason and at times we are sad without  no reason.

If only there was a way to have control over it, one could be truly live a happy and peaceful life.

P.S. I have been through a lot in a past few days. Frustration is at its peek. Don't Mind.

Something that only I could understand...

I saw flowers blossomed

I thought they did for a reason

A reason that I could love for

A reason that I could die for

Reason that only I could understand

Reason that only she did not care about

I re-created the memories she had

Only to see her smile

Only to do it again sometime

Because I knew it was important to her

I saw a dream,

A dream to be part of those memories

Dreams that only I could understand

Dreams that only she did not care about

Coincidences happen

But only when they want to tell you something

Something that I felt was special

Something that I felt I could live for

Something that only I could understand

Something that only she did not care about

Till Life meets the Dream...

I met a life,

Beautiful unlike anything in this universe

We started together years back

A relationship so strong yet so fragile

But I always hold her tight

Sometimes I fell behind and chased her rapidly

Sometimes she followed me silently and slowly

But never did she lose faith in me

Coz she knew I couldn’t live without her

Coz she knew I couldn’t die without her

Something happened then,

I don’t know exactly what,

But I realized I was standing alone

Towards the end, 

Too scared to look ahead.

She was still with me

Calm and supportive as always

I saw a dream then,

A dream so beautiful, so extravagant,

That I could not let it go in vain

So I ran, ran and ran some more

Too fast for her to cope up anymore.

I had come too far to go back to her.

I don't know where did I lose her on the way

I had messed up pretty bad, I could say

Wind started blowing against me

Pushing me back to her

I was too stubborn to retreat.

I was too determined to go ahead.

I was blinded by the beauty I saw.

Consequences now follow

So many still so few

I will face them anyways

Bravely as a soldier

And swiftly as music

Till I get both.

Till I get what i deserve.

Till life meets the dream.

Till life meets the dream.

Experience(s)

There are only two reasons why I person writes. Either he wants to or he needs to. The latter fits in my situation.

Sometimes what life gives us isn't enough and it hurts so much that you forget what you actually wanted from your life. The priorities that you had in life start disappearing, the dreams that you once saw almost daily become a past and reality starts kicking in in the dreams too.

Nobody wants to be depressed or pessimistic but yes the truth sometimes become a little difficult to handle which leads you into doubting your own self. Questions start revolving around your mind but no solutions and definitely no answers at all.

The world would have been truly a better place only if there was a way to judge someone's true potential. Nobody would expect more than what he can do and nobody would get less than what he deserves.
But again there's a saying "There's nothing impossible if you have the will and dedication to achieve it."

I guess only one of them can be true. And only with experience(s) we can know the answer.

Mixed Feelings

Half an hour left me to leave for my flight to Bangalore. I've always looked forward to this day, starting my career in the field I've always wanted to. But when I think about it now, something doesn't feel right, leaving home without knowing when will I be able to visit my parents again, probably in 3 months at the minimum.

People have achieved greatness in IT, specially people from BITS Pilani. Its not easy being a BITS alumnus, its a lot of responsibility. I am proud to be a BITSian, I hope the opposite states true after some years i.e. BITS is proud to have me as an alumnus.

Wishing all the best to myself and all my friends for a great career ahead.

Bangalored !! The Reality !

This is a post especially for 3 kinds of people:
1. The IT Crowd
2. People who have never visited Bangalore and imagine it to be the most developed and awesome city of India.
3. People who are Bangalored!!

What does Bangalored means?
It means a lot of things, little good and little more bad.
When a person says he is bangalored, it means at least one of the following:

1. He is happy if he gets a decent lunch in a restaurant for 200 bucks per head.
2. He has become habitual of travelling at least 2 hours a day in bus and/or he has accepted that a day in his life is now 22 hours long only.
3. He considers himself lucky if he is able to cover 8 kms in an hour during office hours.
4. He considers himself a middle class person even after earning Rs. 80,000 per month.
5. He forgets that people in this world do something other than software development also.
6. He goes to office either to eat free food or drink loads of coffee/tea.
7. He forgets that people once used to live in bungalows also.
8. He spends Rs. 250 to attend gigs of those bands whom he had never ever heard about before.
9. He has developed interest in theatre and plays and 200 seems a less price to pay for it.
10. Rs. 300 seems an ok price to pay for a movie on weekends.
11. He is love with the Bangalore weather even when dust due to construction is blowing on his face.

This is the reality of Bangalore. I hope it will clear your doubts about Bangalore, if you had any.

Yes there are good things also, but they are not worth mentioning apart from the fact that I live here :)

A request

You can learn something every moment in your life, only if you know the perfect song for the moment :)

I believe this and If you also do, Please suggest some songs which will help people experience this phenomenon.

Thanks in advance :)

Don't Ask Me !! Not in a state for such creativity!!

Have you ever experienced a state in which you sat for hours and wonder what productive things you could do with this very time that you are wasting?
I'm in that state right now. Fucked up state and hence cannot write sense. Don't blame me afterwards.
So if you irritated already, you are free to get the hell out of here and read some sensible post by Mahatma Gandhi maybe.
Things I learned in recent days and I feel everyone should know this:
1. VGA sucks, use HDMI only for watching movies, video etc.
2. TV Series are only fun in college. At Job everything sucks.
3. You cannot force yourself to read a bestseller novel just because it's a bestseller and you spent 700 bucks for it.
4. Don't plan to eat out for the whole Practice School. Keep something at home that you can cook and eat fresh.
5. Don't think you'll be able to use your BOSS processor with batteries for your whole fucking life. You need an adapter at the end of the day.
6. Don't think that you'll be happy with a brand name with less pay and facilities just because the name is good. In the end what matters is money and benefits. 
7. Money is not everything but somehow it makes you feel much better (if you have it) and worse (if you don't).
8. Don't go out for lunch with your team on a Friday specially if you are a vegetarian. You might feel robbed at the end of it.
9. Contra Jungle Jam on guitar is not that hard. 
9. Solving crossword at Crosswords can be fun.
10. KFC is the 2nd best thing that could have happened to this planet. 1st is KFC at a cheaper price.
11. Don't go to a musical instruments shop and play a guitar for hours just because you will buy it later. In the end shopkeeper might not sell it to you. 
12. Finally,  I realized I want to go back in time as far as possible and end up in a better position in present.
But the fact that I don't know what wrongs I did, will lead me to same place again. Here sitting in Marathalli, Bangalore writing a blog post at 2:30 AM on 15th of April 2012. But still I want to live it all again. Just for the sake of living.

10 years down the line when I'll read this, I will laugh on it more than anybody else. I know. But when you are in this state you can't help it much.

It's 3:00 AM already. Will I sleep or will I live?

Didn't you expect this?? Its My love :)

For those who know me even a little would know that my first love is music :)
What can I say about music...


It is the purest form of expression, purest form of every emotion.


For me Music is something which talks with me when there's no one else. Something that makes me feel complete. Something which makes me experience emotions which I would never experience otherwise. Something which makes me high., makes me low, sometimes both at the same time. Sometimes it lets me feel what others might be feeling.

It has the power to make you cry for a person that you don't even know.

There are times in life when you want to be alone but you don't get a lonely place to be, when you want to be with everyone but everybody is busy, when you want to be with someone and everyone is there but him/her. Music completes you at those times.

It has the magic of touching the soul exactly where it wants to get touched.

People listen to music...
I listen to the emotion...
People get high to make music..
I get high making music...
People listen/play to music to enjoy..
I listen/play to music to live..

Music is what keeps me alive. It surprises me every time.

P.S. Dedicated to Ankur Saxena, Vaibhavi Rangarajan, Piyush Pathak, Samagra Singh, Krithika Shekhar, Anurag Tiwari, Siddharth Joshi, Shilpa Ramamurthy and Jaskaran Singh :) 

High?? Low?? Up?? Down?? Heard these?? Lets talk.

"Life is not a competition" Easy to say huh??
I guess it's just a philosophy to keep you satisfied. You don't have enough, you don't have as much as your friend, Just say to yourself "Life is not a competition". It's like the all is well thing from 3 idiots.
But no one is happy with less than what he thinks he deserves, at least I won't be.
You know work hard, have patience, you'll get what you deserve..all this might be true. But when you don't have it, it doesn't feel right.

Actually leaving everything out. I feel, the pressure from the surroundings is responsible for all this competition.

Hypothetical situation:

Take 2 guys, one from IIT Delhi and other one from SRM Chennai. Both get a same job of 6.5 lacs in same company but there is a hell lot of difference in their attitude after the selection. The SRM guy is extremely happy, on the top of the world and the IIT guy just sad...plain sad.
Reason??
This was the best company that visited SRM Chennai and amongst the very lower rated companies that visited IIT.
Now both are equally valued but the surroundings were different.
SRM guy thinking: Yes man!! I did it. Best job in the campus. I'm the dude. Family happy, girlfriend happy. Life's great
IIT guy thinking: Lite yaar!! I couldn't even make a 10 lac job when my friends are making 60 lacs job. What happened?? 4 years ago we all(IITians) started at the same place. Then why am I so behind?? Family saying: "I read in the newspaper, IITians got job offers of up to 60 lacs...Why so less for you??"
And finally he says to himself "Life is a competition, and I'm losing"

Now who am I to say what's wrong and what's right. Probably it was his bad luck and he will get better as time progresses. Maybe he will get better than that 60 lac guy some day (with a 0.0000001% probability or even less obviously). But for now, it's not easy. Not at all.

So, for me: "LIFE IS A COMPETITION AND YOU HAVE TO RUN HARD ALL THE TIME. JUST HAVE PATIENCE AND HOPE" 
Nothing can make you happier but being at the top.
And I hope if seen positively, this will be your success story.

P.S :  I'm sorry if I haven't been able to convey my point clearly. Not a good writer you know :)

Illegal ?? Decisions?? Right?? Wrong?? Let's talk about it

Ever did something you're not proud of?? Something that you believe if you hadn't done it, life would have been easier??
No I'm not talking about emotional/personal/relationship/principles stuff...
I'm talking about illegal stuff...
Now and then everyone in his life of about 20 years has done some illegal stuff....Cheating is one of them if you think you haven't :P
Good people say you should not do any illegal stuff but I say
"DO ILLEGAL STUFF ONLY IF YOU'RE READY TO FACE ITS CONSEQUENCES"
Cheat only if you're ready to accept a -5 on your answer script.
Drive over 60 km/hour only if you are ready to pay 500 bucks to police officer.
Park your car in NO PARKING only if you have registry and driver's license.
Steal only if you're ready to stay in jail for one night at least.

Actually If you'll not do illegal stuff just imagine what would the police do?? So much unemployment :P

What I'm saying is just one of way of looking at it. Don't take the inspiration please.
Also if you're smart enough to fool the authorities, you should fool them I guess :P

Also I would like to mention here that life isn't fair to everyone. Sometimes you get accused of false charges and some rarer times are proven to be guilty also. But I guess whatever life does to you, it does only enough for you to handle it. And makes you a better person given you handle it the right way.
Actually One good thing it does is not let you have BLIND faith in GOD as most of Indians do or for that matter Hindus do.
But Whatever GOD does, he always give you an option(s) which people really, I guess, don't see. An option for a better path.
So If you feel GOD isn't fair to you, believe me there's a better life waiting for you. You just have to make the decision. And THE RIGHT ONE.

And Yes, Faith is always the option. Faith for a better tomorrow. 
Have faith In YOURSELF that you'll do good today and will learn from your mistakes, improve and have a better tomorrow.
Because it's you who is gonna lead your life, the one who is going to give it directions, the one, as GOD SwamiNarayan said, who has to carve it out of the rock with your mind and body.
GOD will not take care of you, you'll have to do that for yourself, he will just support.

THANK YOU.

P.S. Am I a preacher or something ??? :P :P
     This wasn't supposed to come out this way, really.
     I truly need some better topics :(